I will try to accept it.

1. Accepting and still happy

“Be content with Allah’s. If Allah give you a son, be happy, If Allah give you a daughter, be happy and if Allah didn’t give you any children, be happy.” - Mufti Menk.

That just a script of a podcast by Mufti Menk that I was listened a few months ago that accompanied my walk to the hospital. I found it quite resonated me when I listened this podcast. The word of contentment wired in my head. For somebody like me who often reactive and quickly dramatized everything, this taught me to be calmer, collected and accepting everything. I still trying to be one so.

Again, I got the second slap when God decided to send Mr. A (an orthopaedic surgeon) to tell the same thing again. This time, it is really dilated my pupils me as he is explaining that suits me in the situation as a student who going to face her major examination. He actually told us a dua’ that he learned from his professor and passed it to us.

I couldn’t remember the exact dua but I understand the meaning behind it. We often ask everything to God. We pray to Him to let us pass the exam, to get an easy case for our clinical exam, and a lot more which basically everything that in favour to us, that are easier to us. We tend to forget that one thing that more important than all we ask, is to ask Him to give us contentment to everything that He had prepared to us along the way.

I understand it, now. I changed my dua. I ask Him to give me a big heart that will always endure His test on me regardless of the outcome of it, whether it cost me tears or a smile. I ask him to give Sabr to pass this test. I ask Him to let me be accepting with my whole heart in case everything is not going to work out just like I imagined in my head, just like I had planned all this time.

The third slap in the same context was when I was reading Reclaim your heart by Yasmin Mogahed. It was the same advice. The advice to seek the silver lining in every storm that we had gone through. You will see it differently after you had gone through the storm. You will now see how everything fall into its place without you never imagining it first. That how His wonders work on us. He is the Ultimate planner. You really had to believe it. You have to learn to believe it.

“Wondrous are the believer’s affairs. For him there is good in all his affairs, and there is so only for the believer. When something pleasing happens to him, he is peaceful, and that is good for him; and when something displeasing happens to him, he is enduring (has sabr), and that is good for him.” [Muslim]

p/s: wrote this few months back but just got some colon to share it. Luls.