perasaan

-
perasaan itu kalau buta-buta ia 
disimpan dalam dalam
dijeruk lama lama

 kadang-kadang boleh
meletus tanpa jangkaan
membelah angin sepi 
yang kononnya tenang 
tak berkocak

 (sebab tu aku cakap kadang-kadang)

 sebab aku tak meletus lagi
bagai ticking bomb tu

 sebab aku cuba rasional logik
sebab aku cuba lembutkan hati
dengan menyebut nama Dia

 Dia yang menenangkan hati ini
Dia yang membolak-balikkan hati ini
Dia yang Maha Berkuasa

 maka, aku simpan lagi perasaan itu
jauh-jauh
dalam-dalam

 sampai aku lupa akan perasaan itu lagi.

 tak pun

 heartless-no-emotion-kinda-android pon considerable

 tapi dengan harapan
bergantung pada Dia

 aku harap aku tak jadi meletus
gila dalam semberono melepaskan marah

 hah! lagi satu

 aku susah nak marah
bukan tak boleh marah
cuma aku cuba elak untuk marah
sebab kalau aku marah

 macam-macam benda bodoh 
yang boleh buat aku
sesal.

 tu yang aku nak elak
penyesalan.

 [perang diri sendiri yang entah keberapa kali]

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